The Way of It

The highest level is to be level with everyone.

To not leave anyone behind.

You don’t know what they mean

when they say what they say

The trust that has been placed on me by my teachers

I shall not defraud

In my vulnerability lies my true intelligence

Caught in a self-centered dream, only suffering.

Holding to self-centered thoughts, exactly the dream.

Each moment, life as it is, the only teacher.

Being just this moment, compassion’s way.

-From the Ordinary Mind Zen school chant book

To be kind to you

is my greatest joy

The best news is when something you’ve read for years and years in your favorite books suddenly makes sense to you, you discover it in your own words. You may not even connect, at the moment, that this is what the wisdom in those books was really about. Eventually, it becomes clear.

This happened to me the other day when I was walking by the beach at Montaña de Oro State Park on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. I had been having a wonderful week so far, doing my favorite things: reading, kayaking, talking to friends, working on my research, eating good food, and now walking on the beach. All of a sudden, it hit me: “I miss her.”

That was the thought. And as I could see mind showing itself images of why that was so, I stood there, astonished, being completely unable even to make sense of what “I miss her” could possibly mean. It’s like, there was the beach, the mountains, the open skies, the soothing sound of the water, and my own benevolent intelligence, which had taken me to this place. “I miss her” could only be true if there was something out of order, and I could not find it. There was no room for her in that picture, and no room for missing her in that picture. It was impossible to miss her, not because I was in some sort of a good mood, but because it was literally-not-possible.

It then became clear to me that I don’t suffer as much as I think I do. I noticed that when I believe “I miss her” I color my past, I describe that entire week as terrible, when in reality there were only a couple of moments of sudden disappointments that vanished as soon as they arose in me. So I unwittingly rewrote, in my own words, Katie’s famous dictum: Reality is much kinder than the thoughts we have about it. In my own words it is: We don’t suffer as much as we think we do.

And so I am grateful to my knees for having my own language for what is languageless. That way I can express myself freely, speaking from my own experience and kind intelligence, and have a great life.

‘Tis nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

-William Shakespeare

Words, it is said, cannot capture It, only point to it. How about a video?

Thanks to my friend Tash for sending this my way.